Tuesday, May 27, 2014

What We're About Now...

The time has come to do a redefinition of terms.  I started this blog and the Facebook page in March as a preparation for April as Autism Awareness Month.  I started the projects more for myself than for anyone else.  It's tough to be Isaac's Mama.  It's hard to deal with the educational, economical, behavioral, psychological, hold it together,  juggling aspects of caring for Isaac.  It's hard and it's ceaseless.  Isaac needs total care everyday.  OK...Stop and go back to that last sentence.  Read it again. Let those words sink in.  Isaac needs total care everyday.  Think about what those words mean. Being Isaac's mama is a whole new kind of hard.  I started this blog and the Facebook page as a way to process and a way to cope.  I had no thought that anyone would actually read my musings, let alone seek my words as the days and posts accumulated.

The project was a call to refocus.  I needed to refocus as well as anyone else.  It is so easy to watch the list of weaknesses pile together into an ever darkening mountain of inability.  It is so easy to let the shadow of that mountain squash the joy out of your soul.  I felt that weight and knew that I had to refocus on to the abilities.  There had to be some abilities.  I had to find them and I had to focus there.
The project was born.  The Facebook, the blog, the call of  "I Can For Isaac".  I would find those things Isaac could do and celebrate them.  I could not alter reality, but I could change my perspective regarding it.  I watched; I took pictures; I wrote; I noticed; I documented; I refocused.  More and more people came to like Isaac's page and like his pictures and posts of encouragement.  More and more people found inspiration in Isaac's persistence and in his innocence.  Isaac's gift of encouragement was validated.  Isaac's ability to inspire other's with love was received with joy.

The response to Isaac's page and blog surprised me, but I guess it makes sense.  This world makes sport of throwing up the unsuccessful and publicly jeering.  Our souls long for innocence, love and encouragement.  That is a huge part of the gifts and talents God gave to Isaac.  Isaac can disarm with his need and his innocence.  He can use his gifts to remind you of yours.  He can do a lot, but he needs a lot of help too.  Isaac's gift is that in his presence we remember that we are like him.  We put on a better show of invincibility, but we need help and love too.  We need someone to believe in us.  We need someone to focus on our gifts and not on our failures.

When the blog and Facebook page were born, I challenged you to come up with something you could do to make a positive change in yourself.  Isaac works hard, you can too.  That was the basic premise in March and April.

It is almost June and the project has grown into another thing.  The central aspects of your personhood will never be changed by outward declaration.  There is a pretense in the shout of "I WILL BE KIND!"  "I WILL BE COMPASSIONATE!"  "I WILL LOVE!"  You could climb the highest peak and shout those affirmations, but I wouldn't believe them.  No one would.  Kindness and Compassion and Love are born quietly in your heart and in your head.  You open yourself to those beyond yourself.  It is not an obnoxious ear splitting declaration.  The lovely intangibles of Kindness and Compassion and Love are born quietly and are continually nurtured by the choices you make as you encounter opportunities given to you.

I Can For Isaac is a place that will nurture and encourage that piece of you that chooses the lovely intangibles.  I Can For Isaac.  Because you know Isaac, you know that everyone has value.  Because you know Isaac, you know that every person has success and is capable.  Because you know Isaac, you know that everyone has struggles and everybody hurts sometimes.  Because you know Isaac, you recognize the importance of kindness and of love and of compassion and of courage.  Because you know my son, you can be inspired to be better.  You can call yourself to be better.  You can call on yourself to matter in ways that matter.  You can nurture love in yourself and in those around you.  You can see them as the gifts God designed them to be.

It has changed, but it is still the same.  I Can For Isaac.  I Can ..... Be Better, Love Harder, See More Fully.  I Can ... for Isaac.

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